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这些迹象表明你们的恋情会长长久久

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Signs Your Relationship Will Last

这些迹象表明你们的恋情会长长久久

1. You feel comfortable being yourselves around each other.

1. 在一起的时候,你们感觉很自在。

In the early stages of a relationship, people tend to present only the sparkliest versions of themselves, hiding anything that could make them seem less desirable in their partner's eyes. But when you don't feel like you constantly need to impress your partner to earn their affection — because you know this person likes you, warts and all — it bodes well for your future as a couple.

恋情初期,人们往往只展现自己的优点,尽可能地将可能被另一半视作不尽如人意的缺点隐藏起来。但当你觉得不再需要通过给对方留下好印象来赢得他/她好感的时候——因为你知道他/她喜欢你,不论优缺点——这就是感情发展的好兆头。

"If you can be yourself and feel comfortable letting your guard down and being you, the relationship is in good shape," said psychologist and sex therapist Shannon Chavez. That also means you feel like you can speak up when something's bugging you, rather than staying quiet or only saying what you think your partner wants to hear.

“如果卸下一身防备,你仍能怡然地做真实的自己,那就表明你们的感情很稳定,”心理学家和性治疗师香农·查韦斯(Shannon Chavez)说道。这也意味着当某事困扰你时,你可以尽情说出自己的感受,而非沉默不语或只说些另一半想听的话。

这些迹象表明你们的恋情会长长久久.jpg

2. You consistently show up for one another.

2. 你们能言行一致。

You call when you say you're going to call. When you agree to do something, it gets done. If you commit to a plan, your partner knows you'll stick to it and vice versa. You know you can count on each other for things big and small.

当你说你要打电话的时候,你就是去打电话了。当你同意做某事的时候,就会做成这件事。如果你致力于完成一个计划,你的另一半就会知道你会坚持下去,反之亦然。你们知道,无论事大事小,你们都可以相互信任。

"This indicates that each person is in the right frame of mind for a healthy relationship and that they are both on the same page," said Deborah Duley, a psychotherapist and owner of Empowered Connections, which specializes in counseling for women, girls and the LGBTQ community. "Consistency allows for trust to build, which then allows intimacy to grow because both partners feel safe."

“这表明双方都心态积极,打算建立一段健康的恋情,且双方意见一致,”心理学家和Empowered Connections机构的所有人黛博拉·杜莱(Deborah Duley)说道。该机构为女性、女孩、女同性恋者、男同性恋者、双性恋者和跨性别者提供咨询服务。“言行一致会建立信任感。因为双方都有了安全感之后,彼此的亲密度也会增加。”

3. You sincerely apologize to each other when you've done something wrong.

3. 做错事的时候,会真心道歉。

And no, "I'm sorry you feel that way" does not count as a genuine apology. Two people who can take responsibility for their missteps, instead of rattling off a bunch of excuses for their behavior, are more likely to move through rough patches without lingering resentments.

“很抱歉让你这样想”当然算不上真心道歉。能为自己的错误负责而非找一堆借口的恋爱双方更有可能度过磕磕碰碰的时光,而不心存怨恨。

"We all make mistakes, say things we shouldn't have said, and can be selfish at times," Smith said. "A simple, 'I'm sorry' is amazing in how healing it can be for a relationship. If you’ve got a partner who’s willing to say sorry, that's a hard-to-find quality and strength, and you should do all you can to keep them."

“我们都会犯错,说一些我们不该说的话,有时候也会表现得很自私,”史密斯说道。“一句简单的对不起就能愈合你们的关系。如果你的另一半愿意说对不起,这真的是一个很难得的品质,你应该尽你所能和他/她幸福地生活下去。”

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tend [tend]

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v. 趋向,易于,照料,护理

 
desirable [di'zaiərəbl]

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adj. 值得有的,令人满意的,有吸引力的
n

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rough [rʌf]

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adj. 粗糙的,粗略的,粗暴的,艰难的,讨厌的,不适的

 
constantly ['kɔnstəntli]

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adv. 不断地,经常地

 
community [kə'mju:niti]

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n. 社区,社会,团体,共同体,公众,[生]群落

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stick [stik]

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n. 枝,杆,手杖
vt. 插于,刺入,竖起<

 
healing ['hi:liŋ]

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n. 康复,复原 adj. 有治疗功用的

 
therapist ['θerəpist]

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n. 临床医学家

 
willing ['wiliŋ]

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adj. 愿意的,心甘情愿的

 
apologize [ə'pɔlədʒaiz]

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vi. 道歉,谢罪

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